THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
