Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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