Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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