Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
