Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can't motorboat a personality
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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