So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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