Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
