Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
