You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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