I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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