who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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