if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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