There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
