Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
