All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
