If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
