it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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