even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
