I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
