Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize