haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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