You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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