She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
