My liver just broke up with me...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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