btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
