My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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