Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize