dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
