Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
