i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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