I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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