Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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