dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
this will be a night to untag.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
