I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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