Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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