i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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