More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
