I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need a burrito and a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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