Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
