Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So much rum. So many feels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
