She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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