I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
