I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
