My pussy is not your playground.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
