I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
