Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
