I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
