all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
