morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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