i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
