He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
