got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
