tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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