Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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