dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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