can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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