Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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