And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she told me i tasted like america
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize