Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
