ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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