My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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