What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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