I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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