we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize